Love isn't perfect....

...even diamonds start out as coal. How long do you work and wait for the transformation? What if you've got the wrong rock to begin with? You get a feeling though, a feeling that you can make it work. A feeling that tells you "this won't be easy, but damnit will it be worth it!" What happens when you step back, try to gain perspective and feel like you've lost the mine? It's only been 3 days, but it feels like 3 months. I've tried logically looking at the situation, making a list of pros and cons... even the pros are cons, in some way. Saving almost 80 miles per week is nice for my gas tank, but I would walk those miles if I could figure out what would make us work. We are so different, which most times, was wonderful. Entirely different perspectives were shared, and we learned new things. The good days were soooo effin good, and the bad days- they were equally extreme.

"we've been dancing on a volcano, and we've been crying over blackened souls"

There's no place like home.... to make me feel so alone. I don't want to wash my sheets, they still smell like you. I hope that we can find a way to come back together and make this work. It seems damn near impossible, we've had more than two decades of being who we are separately- if they don't mix, they don't mix. Oil and water. We can't change who we are, and we don't want to either. Who we are is what we love about each other. Is there a way to tweak behavior patterns and defense mechanisms to make for a more smooth operation? I don't know.

"so many nights, legs tangled tight.
wrap me up in a dream with you.
close up these eyes, try not to cry.
all that i've got to pull me through,
is memories of you...

sew this up with threads of reason and regret, so i will not forget- i cannot forget....